07 October 2021

A Hidden Heart

Thoughts after reading the post of a friend about what someone enamored of her said to her. It was unclear if they were well acquainted, so it seemed like either a really bad pickup line, or an effort to express the feeling of namaste*. What was said provided the opportunity for her to school him about his comment, and she did - from a place of love.

Then I found this meme on my computer, which related.   And it says to me that this approach to life should be at the foundation of the way a person thinks, especially after meeting someone they imagine they might want to marry.  

Being a woman, imho, simply does not make one more divine than a being a man.  The message of the thought expressed is more than only the semantics of it.  That we can understand the message conveyed at a variety of levels is important.

Regardless of gender, marrying is not about worshiping the spouse or being addicted to the spouse.  It is about finding needed common ground, spiritually, to be able to move forward in a relationship on a stable  foundation, that revolves around namaste* - in terms of recognizing the divine in the other and self.

In generations past perhaps this meme expresses what was at the foundation of more families choosing who their children marry.  In more modern time families want the spouse to at least be someone of the same religion and/or any other sameness or difference families want for their children.  

And for many in modern time those efforts of family seem to have become an attitude of thoughtless habit for appearance sake within their network, rather than an outlook of namaste' - towards the children, one's spouse in a special way, and toward everyone in a general way.  It does not include first requiring that "the other" be of the same religion, philosophy, or political leaning and opinions before recognizing the divinity of the spark of life in a person - a spark of divinity that is in everyone whether or not they recognize it.

People must set out on their own.  And the parents who have been sacred guardians of their children rather than owners, will extend emotional support which will keep a family together even though more distant.  However, for some it will be clear that it is necessary  to move beyond the limits and boundaries family wants to set, when those limits and boundaries are not also one's own.   It must be done.  It can be done without losing family, but it will create more distance.  However, in reality, marrying and having one's own family, creates distance from family - even when folks do not live at a distance from one another.  Likewise, being dedicated to getting an education, to work, job, career, recognized purpose in life, whether married or not, creates needed distance with family and everyone else too. That is how life goes when you love who you are and what you do and embrace more and more of life.  It prepares you to encounter those who will know that to seek God is where your heart can be found; some of whom will be new friends from old times. 

We should never feel guilty about the way family wants to set priorities in our lives that are not the priorities we set for ourselves. Many families are happy to be wrong when they  realize an adult child has a purpose, has a life, and is successful in terms of prioritizing life as they need it to be.  When family knows an adult child's heart is hidden in God, parents tend to be less worried about that child's choices and direction in life as an adult.  

With thanks to Max Lucado for the way he expressed the thought, above, I have to say that I don't know about other folks, but I do know this thought has been my reality towards life and other people since age 12:  A person's heart should be so hidden in God that it is necessary to seek God to find that person.

*"Namaste is a thank you to the world created and around us. The 'divine in me honors the divine in you' references the spiritual transfer of the word. Honor the individual who is graced by your presence."