23 March 2019

No Full transparency? No Consent.

Putting the news on this morning what first drew my attention was the annoying news feed crawler at the bottom of the screen which stated that a Democrat in a city in New Mexico has stated that abortion is about women choosing to get pregnant.  My first thought was do people ever stop trying to make that red herring into a political issue

First let’s reformulate that comment to remove politics from it, simply because a woman’s choice about anything in her life is not the subject of party politics - it is an about her inalienable rights.  So we will start, instead, with the comment that abortion is about women choosing to get pregnant. 

Lets start out being honest and real.  Do all women think alike about this?  Of course not.  But I guarantee that each women deserves the right to choose instead of having some other person choose for her and so does each man.   After all natural pregnancy requires one of each.  Without expanding on the  comment "abortion is about women choosing to get pregnant", the full meaning and associated requirement of her consent is not communicated.

Let’s also start with stating the fact that sex and birth control are all about choice and consent.  So, other than abortion for health reasons, when there has not been choice, consent, and mutual agreement of both people, then abortion is almost always the last resort a woman has when she has not been part of a discussion that includes her choice, her consent, and her right to have the opportunity to formulate a mutual agreement.

Abortion is almost always an  unequivocal statement of there having been an absence of choice and consent on the part of a woman who is  a responsible, honest, law-abiding person, with a purpose in life - other than, or in addition to her biological ability to be a child-bearer who intends to create the family she envisions when she is prepared to do so.

It is a crime, literally, to act on imagining that any woman’s future must require accommodating sexual use and abuse as if she is owned and not due the respect of being asked.  A woman should never  be expected to be subject to  others' (like family) or any one person's (like a significant other) narcissistic assumptions that she has made a choice she has not made.

It is a crime to make a choice for a woman without her consent or knowledge;  a crime for an abuser to make  any effort whatsoever to collude with his and/or her family and friends to plan her future for her without her knowledge and consent.  A woman always needs to be included in a discussion about her future, no matter who imagines they have the right to superimpose their ownership and control onto her future without her knowledge and consent.  When it comes to anyone else imagining they can influence and have control over when and with whom she may or may not choose to bring a soul to life, a woman has a right and is required to be part of a discussion of her future, a discussion which leads to either  mutual agreement or a civilized parting of the ways.

What is so difficult about understanding that without full transparency it is not allowable to assume a woman’s consent?  It is a crime to assume consent no matter who is making the assumption and it does not matter who wants to assume  or when they want to make that assumption.  Full transparency and disclosure about what other people want and imagine they have the right to assume they can demand about what they want for a woman, is a requirement upon which a woman’s choice and consent is dependent.   Anything less is unacceptable.  It truly is an easy to understand concept.

Don’t want to respect a woman’s “no“?  Want to force sex without her consent?  Want to cause her death by getting someone pregnant with her soul because she does not accept your ownership of her and your dictating of her choices in life?  Want to dictate a woman’s future without her knowledge and consent, with or without cooperation of her friends and family or anyone else with whom there is collusion to plan her future?  Then you damned well better expect abortion when pregnancy is a result and be happy she stops there instead of putting a death squad into action to rid her life of all parasitic abusers who have wanted to claim and assume ownership of her and her inalienable rights choices.  Obviously it is not only about pregnancy.  It is about a woman's right to make choices for her own life in every way. 

This is some real information about the necessity of required discussions associated with an overly generalized statement of abortion being about women choosing to get pregnant.  Although it is, unstated and most important is the fact that discussions which fully disclose purposes and intention are required, not only so that a woman has the right to consent if she so chooses, but also so that a narcissistic abuser can not later claim having been emotionally damaged by a woman who was been forced to choose abortion because of the narcissistic abuse intended to own her, live her life for her, make her choices for her, all being ill-intended efforts to emotionally damage her, instead. That intent is evident when a woman has not been part of a discussion about her life which requires her knowledge and her consent.  Once more, for all the required reasons, it is an easy concept to understand. 

No full transparency?  No chance of consent!

20 March 2019

Inside and Outside the Dark Side

Just one more - only once more?  NO!!!!!  NO!!!!! NO!!!!  1001 times.  That is not difficult to understand it means STOP!  Not once more, not one more time.  No more!  Stop using and abusing my soul.  I did not consent.  I did not give it to you.  You do not have that right.    I do not want to live inside the life you want to create for me because you want to imagine you could live my life than better than I do.  I can not exist there because your manifestation of reality can not accommodate me, and instead only obstructs and limits my reality where pure spirit needs to exist unfettered.   I will not consent to being held hostage in your realty.  You do not have the right to create your heaven with my hell as its foundation. 

Does this ring true with you, make sense to you?  If it does then you are likely to be really tired of this tedious "embrace your dark side" advice, after your life has been fully illuminated and you are actually able to recognize the problem of other folks dark sides invading your life - even in some cases recognizing the folks to whom those dark sides belong. 

Do not misunderstand!  “Embrace your dark side!“ is excellent advice.  If you are ready to tackle your own dark side and/or need to be able to put into words of understanding what you are dealing with in your life, or need to know because people in your life are going through it in their lives, then you need to heed the call of those who know about embracing the dark side.  Once you have done the processing work, its presence provides comfort.  But let's not get the cart before the horse because there is a long way to go after starting the journey.

At issue is the work which needs to be accomplished in processing one’s own dark side without experiencing extensive damage.   But first let me tell you, here and now, that you have the right to say no to anyone wanting to make you responsible for their dark side.  No on else’s dark side is your responsibility.  No one else can do the work of another in their stead, for them - no one.

My life was fully illuminated long, long ago more than once as a child by the time I was 12.  And I gradually learned to do the work of processing my dark side.  That is something that we all do to some extent by simply growing into our own lives.  I went through what, in retrospect, feels like it must have been an initiation which required me, all by my lonesome, to inventory and process all that was within my dark side - tossing out the fragments of unrealized manifestations.  Identifying those fragments was a matter of relegating to the trash heap all the obstructions and limits that interfered with reaching full illumination, again, all on my own - beyond only "the grace of God" (some would say) which had been providing illumination, with a little help from my friends before I was 20, then having  reached a point in life where I knew I  must take primary responsibility for the process, myself.  Once one does that work it is possible to maintain the dark side as the potential it is so that it rests easy and is life giving rather than being life damaging; so that it is possible to manage the dark side in real time when it needs attention.  It is a call that must be responded to immediately - or as soon as possible IF and ONLY IF there is nothing more vital to life which needs attention. 

Does it sound like the dark side is a demanding spoiled child?  Well, if you neglect it, it certainly is experienced in that way.  And if you are abusive to it because of neglect, it certainly is experienced in a much worse way when it has fully grown into a pathological, sadistic, masochistic, Machiavellian narcissistic experience that personifies evil.  I am not exaggerating.  It happens.  And I have experienced the damage that is done by those to whom that has happened.

Do not neglect your dark side - ever - once you have gone through that initial journey of clearing it out yourself and becoming fully illuminated as a result.   Don’t misunderstand.  It is not a one time and forever done, task.  It is a life long endeavor. But once you have done major processing work you can relate to your dark side  with love and compassion and absolutely no hostility or dislike - similar to how everyone feels about infants.  We do not neglect the needs of infants.  We care for them with great love.  Similarly, you do not neglect your dark side when it needs your attention, because guaranteed doing so will result in problems developing both in the near and far future - and everywhere in between. 

To be fully realized in life we all have a need to illuminate our lives  by clearing out all the fragments of unmet potential  within our dark sides, so that we are able to maintain it in real time.  That means we then  need to deal with these fragments immediately as they occur, which are associated with issues we are aware of and keep account of, so we can prevent the fragments of obstructed unmet potential from accumulating in the dark side.  Only you can do it.  No one else can do it for you.  Recognize that you owe it to the people in your life, if not yourself, to make life easier for yourselves and everyone else by clearing out and processing the dark side if you have not yet done so;  by keeping up  constantly with real-time dark side housekeeping.

Before I continue I want to make it clear that I am using understandable existent terminology which is used to communicate about these issue.   It is in no way some sort of “hidden agenda” associated with skin color and everyone knows that, of course, except rabble-rousing trouble makers with evil agendas whose dark sides have become fully grown narcissistic problems to all, not only themselves. 

Speaking of dark and light in this way is about energy and its potential.  Consider that light is like fire but much more intense, destroying all of the manifested trash in one’s life that does not belong to pure spirit.  Consider that dark is like the all embracing dark of night when only the stars are present but with much more intensity, full of potential to manifest all that can be created. 

Consider the universe. Fact is that mass only becomes condensed matter by originating and consolidating in the dark side.  All in existence which is not pure unfettered uncontained energy of light is potential  mass - energy in its most quiet state - like that which fills our well maintained dark sides.  Even so that energy is actively popping into and out of infinitesimal mass, sometime coalescing into stable particles.  Our dark sides are similar. Some particles collect and coalesce as disconnected fragments of trash which we need to process and remove from the dark side of our lives so they do not interfere with our potential to manifest what we need in life.  And the fact is that until and unless we clean it up and clear it out, we can not maintain our lives properly and prevent them from becoming a trash heap which makes our dark sides a problem for us and other people, too. 

When we do not do the work and instead allow our lives to become a trash heap, then it also  attracts the trash of others as well.  So too illuminated lives attract the light of others.  We all exist as light and dark.  We need to know how to understand both, and how to manage what we can, and when to give free reign as needed.  That means knowing oneself well.

Done well, learning to know oneself does not become a narcissistic endeavor like narcissistic abusers want to convince  you and everyone else that it is.  It is your duty and obligation and the reason you are living - the journey that is yours and only yours to take - with the companionship you need, when you need it.  Rumi conveys the obligation to oneself and everyone else that it is:  "I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God." 

Although your own dark side is not the problem or responsibility of anyone else, it becomes everyone else’s problem when you do not deal with it but instead try to dump it onto others.  It is absolutely full of potential from which you manifest your needs.  Thing is the only way to do so is to embrace your dark side, so that you can also fully embody the light of pure spirit; so that together they can be used as the potential to  manifest all of creation for everyone as they need it to be.  So empty that bitch out - completely empty it out of all the fragments of obstructed unmet potential that accumulate without real time maintenance, so all that remains is the energy of potential, along with the energy of pure spirit which is created at the inception of life - life which is meant to be a manifestation that transforms the potential of dark energy into all that exists in physical form.

Your dark side is there so you can create your own path in life.  Learn to use your dark side and light side complementarily as they are meant to be used.  In fact they cannot be fully functional one without the other.  It is our work in life to learn how to achieve this balance at any given point in time.

The only problem any of us I have with the dark side in life once we have cleared our own space of all the fragments of efforts to manifest which were obstructed and limited and did not come to fruition, is when people try to superimpose their own fragmented dark sides onto our lives.  We actually do recognize this effort as foreign and do not accept it.   We don't need it, we don't want it.  It is not our responsibility. 

If other people want assistance with clearing out their dark sides then they need to ask directly rather than hint around about it, or try to manipulate.  Those who can will help in the ways they choose.  If someone can not help then it is damned well better for you to take your fragmented dark side and skedaddle on out of their lives instead of being determined to try to dump it into their lives where it does not belong.  Our own dark sides are not any one else’s  responsibility.  And we have the right to  refuse to continue to put up with the abuse of the dark side of other people which occurs when they have not personally done the clearing work in their own lives necessary so that they can manage their own dark sides.

Yes, you can do it without professional assistance.  And when you do, either because you prefer to, or because no professionals with the needed skills were available when you were at that point in your life, then you develop those skills yourself or die trying.  Note that a lot of people have died trying.  It is not a fools errand.  In fact it actually can be a life and death battle.  Ask anyone who has been addicted if you do not understand, or anyone who has experienced relentless post partum depression for that matter which is very much like unmet addiction.  When you maintain your own dark side properly, instead of employing crisis management which only recognizes when it is past time to handle the problem, then the problems festering in the dark side will pose less danger.  Because,  no doubt about it - the dark side is frought with danger, unless it is well maintained.  But the fact is that depending on inadequate professional help can be akin to choosing death.  It is than that you consider it  might be preferable to bumble along on your own, through trial and error guided by faith alone, which in and of  itself becomes a process of developing the needed skills which lead you to choose life. 

When you have been through the process, the "pros" who were nowhere to be found when you needed them have  no right to repetitively and voyeuristically demand that you dump all that dark side shit onto them, now, long after you processed it  so that it would no longer be an insurmountable  burden in your life.  But here they are waving all their "I know best about everything all the time” credentials in your face, demanding that you exhume that shit so they can inspect it and advise you, long after even the bones of it have returned to dust, and then transformed into pure illumination.   Both the good pros and the bad pros do damage in that way.  The truly evil bad ones, of course, only want to know how much you know about the dark side so they will know in what ways they can try to abuse you without your consent, supposedly without your knowledge.  The good ones will recognize a kindred spirit.  You must learn to feel the energy so you can learn to trust your own judgment.

One of the worst crimes a person can commit against others is to dump all the trash their own dark side reveals to them into the lives of others, instead of processing it.  It is mandatory to develop the skills to get rid of the trash and deal with new issues in real time so they do not accumulate and become damaging to oneself or others. 

Yes, not seeing the forest for the trees is a real circumstance particularly when dealing with your own dark side.  That is when talking with others might be of benefit. Those who have done their own clearing work know what you are talking about and there are three ways they might be of assistance.  1) by extending sympathy - I understand and sympathize (but I will not allow you to obstruct my life by dumping that shit into it.  It is yours to deal with so deal with it!).  2) by extending compassion - tell me about it, I think what you are going through is something I have gone through and talking about it might help (but take it with you when you leave because I will not allow you to obstruct my life by dumping that shit into it.  It is yours to deal with so deal with it!) 3) by extending empathy, but only in the ways they are willing to do so, for as long as they are willing to do so which may or may not be useful to you.  When they say “stop, no more” - then get out of their way, and take that shit with you when you leave to go process it yourself. 

Yes, empathy is not always kind because the lives of others are an imposition on it, so if the empathetic deal with your shit in the same ways they deal with their own, then it may be offensive and damaging to you.  Kindness comes first, but if that is not respected then be prepared for worse if you want to demand empathy.  Best to ask for and appreciate merciful compassion if you  would appreciate the insight of another.  Or if you mostly are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by the work you are doing and just need to know you are not alone in dealing with the problem, then the understanding of sympathy is all that you need and want - simply the acknowledgement of what you are going through and a reminder that someone else is confident you will  find your way through the ordeal and succeed.  

When one is not narcissistic the empathy others are able to extend, only on their terms, is always a blessing for which to be grateful.  The demands in an individual’s life at the time are likely to determine their response to you.  It is your job to know exactly what you want from others if you choose to involve them, and to ask for what you need of an individual if you think that person can assist you as you need to be assisted.  Because, when you are unclear about what you need and demand more of a person then they are able to give at any given time, you are wrong.

Like everyone else, what I know is for me to share, not for anyone else to demand I tell them.  If someone else needs to know more about something they think I or anyone else knows,  or they need the support of others confirming what they know  because they feel alone with the burden of knowing, then I will extend my compassion by sharing what I know after I have conveyed my understanding in the form of sympathy - to first determine, if it is not already clear, whether or not the person has a genuine need or is intent on being a narcissistic abuser.  Likewise if anyone observes a soul in need and can share something to minimize the suffering, then for God’s sake be upfront and direct about it instead of beating around the bush.

No, sharing my own experience and what I know is not a narcissistic guiding of the conversation to myself, the same as it is not for anyone else who is extending compassionate understanding.   Anyone who wants to believe that only wants to transfer the evil in their own life into yours for you to deal with which indicates their own  narcissism.

When someone is dumping their negativity into your life because it has risen to the point of them experiencing it as evil in their own lives, they are "projecting" - projecting their shit onto you as yours. They are trying to force you to experience the negative feelings to which they are addicted because they want a domicile for that evil so they can access it and feed on it at their convenience.  And they will do everything they possibly can to obstruct you from taking out the trash they are dumping into your life, because they want you to keep it for them so they can access it when their addiction drives them to their own unprocessed dark side which they are trying store in your life so they do not have to deal with its evil turmoil.  They are abusive when you say no to their demands.  They can not live with the evil turmoil because they have not processed the fragmented contents of their dark sides, so it does not stop calling to them to do so.  That calling is the addiction they answer to but do nothing to resolve. 

Thus, we have insight into how narcissists are driven by evil, though do not necessarily start out being driven by evil.  Self-neglect is one cause, and in many cases that is due to others having obstructed and limited self-care in our lives when it was imperative that we engage in it.  When that happens, repeatedly, it is truly damaging and it makes one into a scapegoat not only of the individual narcissist who is engaging in the scapegoating, but of other narcissists too which the extreme negativity created, attracts.  In that circumstance, without processing one's own dark side and first ridding it of all that is not one's own, becoming a next generation narcissist might threaten.  Thus we understand  how narcissism is conveyed from one generation to the next until someone says no and chooses to heal and stop passing that buck.
 
The damage that occurs in life can be immense before one is able to say no, and have no respected instead of punished, at which point it is then possible to start to heal.  And that damage starts as abuse in infancy for some.  However, even without intentional abuse in childhood, we still have damage from it which we need to process, simply because it is necessary to be able to know oneself, to recognize oneself as an individual separate from those with whom one connects, even those with whom we connect in  mutually beneficial and undamaging ways.  Abusers will rarely be able or willing to recognize you as the separate individual you are - distinct from themselves.  Because, they want to claim all the good in you they can see as their own. and claim that all the bad they see in themselves is yours.  It is no exaggeration. 

It has been said that to survive childhood is to have to heal from Stockholm Syndrome.  The irony is that it is probably true, to some extent, for everyone.  Parents are not perfect, but decent people do the best they know how to do, the best they are able.  Evenso everyone needs to revisit how they were raised - how they were programmed while growing up - for the purpose of keeping what works, tossing what does not, and staying on the fence about how to classify some programming while researching it.  It is the process of maturing into a self-supporting independent responsible adult. 

Those who have suffered from intentional abuse have a lot more work to do, work which is much more difficult for them to realize a need for, simply because knowing what to think or do about abuse that occurred, other than ignore it, may not become an issue they are prepared to address until much later in life.  But it will always be there to obstruct, redirect, and limit, and to be used against them by others, until it is addressed.  Those who intentionally abused us will not tell us.  Those who may know about it or suspect it, also may not tell us until or unless we ask them what they may know that we suspect and in some cases recall.   And even then they may resist informing us of what they know or suspect. 

We can and will recall, eventually, even incidents from way back in the fog of time when it is considered technically too early to be able to recall.  Even those of us who are gifted with insight about past lives, may not be gifted with insight about abuse to ourselves in this life until we are able to move beyond the damage we know processing that abuse will do when we recognize it as our own,  having already recognized the damage it is able to do and has done to others.  And we must recognize it so we can do the work necessary to  neutralize it in our own lives.  Even after we fully process our own past abuses  we will find fragments of it from time to time in our dark sides that will fester until we process them.

It becomes imperative when processing the dark side that we are able to recognize actual narcissism.   There is a range of it from from narcissistic personality disorder (npd) to full blown narcissism in several forms, configured with other issues like sociopathy, masochism, sadism, and psychopathy.  I am not credentialed to provide detailed information other than what I can relay from experience and observation.  However to be able to fully process one’s dark side it is necessary to learn about the problem for two primary reasons 1) to protect ourselves from others 2) to protect ourselves from developing strong narcissistic tendencies which will cause harm to others. 

Anyone damaged by the narcissism of others will have a difficult time with all the processing that must be done because the amount of processing necessary is directly proportional to the amount of narcissistic damage that has occurred in our lives.  The amount of time that must be dedicate to the process makes one feel very self-centered at times because of having to focus on oneself to be able to heal and move beyond the damage. 

And there will be those in your life who will do all they can to obstruct that process and label you as a narcissist - very possibly because of not having processed their own issues.  Depending on your circumstances in life, especially if you are not in an awake relationship with a significant other, or part of an awake tribe/family/clan - it is a process best done without involving others because there is a plethora of negative emotions in damaging intensities which accompany the process.  Others will actually feel that chaos when you are in contact with one another.  They will not like the energy any more than you do.  And the fact is that you also are not able to take on any additional negative energy without it becoming overwhelming while you are doing that processing. 

There is a space reserved for narcissistic damage in our dark sides because it is damage which requires special handling. We find the narcissistic damage we have experienced and stored in the dark side, to be the total accumulation of fragments which were created from unrealized manifestations associated with our own purposes in life which others actually intentionally obstructed, redirected, and limited because of their ill-intent.  Most of what is otherwise in a cleared and well-maintained dark side primarily consists of our own reactions which do not settle well with us and require objective processing.  Thus when we handle them in real-time as consistently as possible we are able to stop them from accumulating and migrating to the exclusive space where narcissistic fragments collect, and worse consolidate into larger than life monstrous obstructions until we deal with them.

Let’s say we successfully accomplished and  survived doing the needed work which must be accomplished after we become aware that the dark side was demanding our attention in very negative ways until we did.   We then need to include establishing boundaries as part of the work - learning to establish effective boundaries.  That means we will need to know our own boundaries.  Evenso we will still need to establish individual boundaries with individual people from time to time. 

What is a boundary?  Well, here is one of mine which I have recognized.   I'll be damned if I'm going to agree to babysit the naughty, spoiled, criminal damned dark side of others so they know where it is and can visit it to get their fix without ever going through the process of clearing out their own lives.  No ma’am, no sir.  Won’t do it.  I understand they can not store it themselves, so they want someone else to store it for them.  But, no dice brah, not in my reality.  I don't volunteer for that nonsense, and I do not consent to being used in that way especially without my knowledge, and especially by anyone who has previously used and abused my soul without me consenting, or because  someone who was untrustworthy and evil gave it to an abuser.  That someone would ordinarily be an unfaithful significant other (or spouse), or a parent, or in the case of those who have been abused, the abuser.  We can learn to be kind about communicating our boundaries, but until we find ourselves angry about them having been violated we may not be able to identify them and learn to be kind when we must inform others of them.

When abuse has happened to an infant, then the use and abuse of that soul is often extensive, and even when one processes that and gets past it - that person is occasionally haunted by the dark side of an abuser, though less intensely after having finally processed most of damage that was done.  It is the same for anyone abused as a child.  However, as with any abuse, it may not be fully revealed in one’s life until one is able to survive processing it - which often is much later in life and a long time to suffer from damage that has taken up permanent residence in the dark side and needs to be evicted from it.

So what does this mean in practical terms?  One thing it means is that it is very possible there are a lot of people who are parents but who have not yet processed the abuse they experienced in their lives.  If the literature is correct, and the experiences of others and ourselves more or less demonstrates that it is in these cases, then the same issues will continue to plague us in a variety of ways and forms until we actually do connect with them in our dark sides and process the hell out of them - destroying resistant consolidated fragments and transforming them into pure energy.  Otherwise it could manifest as incompatible irreconcilable differences in a  marriage.  It could manifest as neglect or other abuse of one’s own children in some way or another.  That is reality and also a danger that even without our knowledge leads to conveying ancestral trauma to our own progeny.

The crime of abusing anyone is sadistic narcissistic  psychopathy - and history is replete with evidence that it is deadly.  That includes all abuse from anyone, including abuse that is  based on targeting others because of personal prejudices whatever those prejudices might be.  We deal with the problems of many types of societal prejudices on a daily basis.  The nature of the problem is the same in all abusers no matter their motivation.  Only the targets of abuse are different.  On a large scale it is terrorism.  So think about that for a moment.  It can provide insight for anyone who has not personally experienced evilly intended abuse as a child or an adult. 

Abuse is terrorism, intended to be terrorism, and is experienced as terrorism.  Terrorism and abuse equate.  The only difference is the scale - the amount of people targeted at any one time.  Neither always ends in the death of the targeted, but both always end with emotional/psychological damage to those targeted and to those who witness it whether or not there is physical damage - the intent of both being to instill fear as a weapon the terrorist/abuser wants to use as a means of control - even when instilling that fear motivates extreme action to some which may not be hidden from others.  That motivates observers to take action and they do.  It happens in the case of terrorist incidents at the time, where some take heroic action - sometimes at cost of their own lives; also later by addressing the problem societaly.   Fact is, and understandably, witnesses to individual abuse do not respond similarly, as frequently.

When it is a child who is targeted it is particularly injurious.  When it is an infant . . . well, that is as pernicious as it gets - the worst of the worst crimes which has the potential to ruin a person's life because it forces one to deal with someone else's dark side so early and for so long that it is experienced as evil, and has the effect of evil.  An infant can simply be overwhelmed with all types of energy in the environment.  But in normal conditions, as long as love predominates, it neutralizes the energy of damaging negativity which could exist when the parents have not fully processed their own dark sides.

Even after one  does figure it out and starts transforming what is possible to transform in the dark side, and sending the evil back from whence it came when it is not possible, then the younger a person is the less others will be able to comprehend the words used in an effort to describe incidents of abuse.  That can be protective for a child in the event a young child asks for help from the abuser.  Even adults  have limited ways to describe what they are going through without being labeled as having mental problems, until they have done their own research and have better learned to articulate and describe the issues and associated problems. 

There are various types of terminology which can be used to convey understanding and to articulate understanding.  They are associated with emotions and psychology, or medical conditions, or religion and philosophy, or spirituality and being ‘woke.  Art, music, and  literature are also replete with creative ways people have conveyed valuable information in the form of their experiences, about these issues.  Sometimes these creative venues ring true with us and first  inform us, as food for thought, of issues about which we need to know more  Then in researching what we need to know we encounter numerous sets of terminology which are used in various fields. 

So if there is a need to seek outside assistance, then it is best to go with the types of terminology that ring true and best describe not only the journey one has been on, but also the journey one envisions into the future - fully healed.  However, we must always be mindful of our choices so they do not create further obstructions for us.  For myself it has always been the spiritual path which has provided the needed guidance and insight as the foundation from which to move forward to embrace parts of the other sets of terminology.  We need to be able to understand the terminology associated with all of these ways of understanding so as not to be victimized by those who intentionally use them to abuse.

If you are involved with a total do-it-yourself processing of your dark side, whether it be by necessity or choice (and we all actually are doing it ourselves whether or not we ask for assistance), then my advice is to read.  Do a lot of reading.  Supplement reading with available videos and audio presentations.  Analyze the lyrics in music that draws your attention too, and understand what is being conveyed from all that you access in relation to the  processing you are doing.  Within the range of sources that can guide - some will be useless to you but not to others.   Other sources  you might attribute to saving your life though they  have little or no similar effect on other folks.  And there are many sources between these two polarities that, as you happen upon them, can all contribute something to assist you in learning what you need to know. 

Sources are available because the most mercifully compassionate people have employed their empathy productively towards that end to guide your way.  Instead of allowing others to dictate and abuse their own empathy they extend what they know they can in that form, from which all are welcome to benefit. Some of the folks are actually credentialed and offer courses, workshops, seminars, individual and group sessions.  What is offered could be exactly what some folks need and prefer as a way to motivate themselves and learn effective ways to deal with their dark sides - to clean the dark side house and empty its closets, clear its garage and extra storage area, and clean up the yard which  all need attention in their dark side.  That is always a good choice because the contacts one makes become one's network and tribe of mutual supporters and it is a deserved source of income for the professionals who are able and willing to show the way with their merciful compassion.

I know for certain that until one processes the dark side, there is often much more misery in life than there is joyful delight and inspiration.  There is also less observed synchronicity until we do the needed processing.  When we are free from the dark side haunting us because we are giving it the maintaining it requires and deserves, then we are freer to take delight in the world around us, freer to be in the moment and enjoy what we are fortunate enough to have in our lives for which we are grateful.  And we find satisfaction in being of service to others.

“I sought my God and my God I couldn't find;
I sought my soul and my soul eluded me;
I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three;
My God, my soul, and thee.”

― William Blake

07 March 2019

Are You a Toxic Problem?

Are you ill-intended or simply being stupid, lazy, and uncaring?  I ask this of myself whenever I need to fact check and am being resistant to doing so.  So I'm asking you all to ask yourselves the same question in association with the damaging toxicity we bring into our environments that does harm to us all.  I'm talking about physical toxicity.  Emotional toxicity is a whole other issue and as important. But this is a Wednesday rant about physical toxicity.

I am so over and past  having  the quality of my health and life affected by the second hand smoking of others; by the overpowering stench of heavily perfumed cosmetics, fragrances, household air fresheners, detergents, soaps, shampoos, fabric softeners, insect and weed sprays, and the toxic chemicals in all of them.  Read the damned labels, people, and make responsible choices that are non-toxic to yourselves, your children, everyone else, and the environment.  

If you don’t give a damn about your own health at least make an effort to try to care about the health of your children - and all those in your household, including pets.  Check food labels, try to avoid purchasing food that is in plastic, and avoid storing food in plastic.  Plastic is so pervasive that it becomes work to try to do so.  And we all know the damage plastic trash is doing to the oceans and  sealife.  As consumers we each can make a good difference that contributes to solving the problem.  We know this.  We can do it, We simply must do it - for many reasons, about many problems.  For example, I have decided to make a small difference, recently, about no longer  being lazy about using my grocery receipt to express my opinion.  On many receipts there is a web address with a survey.  We have all noticed that.  Yes, it is tedious to go through all the questions designed to provide statistics.  The grocery store's interest is in what the store looks like and how the employees behave.  As a consumer my main interest is in the quality of the products.   Progressing through the survey, eventually there is a place to comment, like about what it is you could not find, or about what it was that you did not find excellent.  So I am using those comment sections to say I had to purchase a product at another store, because I could not find it in a glass container; or to say that because the packaging (and sometimes the food too!) was permeated with the stench of fabric softener or insecticide because of the way the products were not separated in shipping or storage, or because there was no visible price, I could not purchase the product from their store. 

I do not like making the time to do these surveys, but I will get used to it.  What is irritating is that some of these things are because of bad management and/or inadequate supervision.  When I go to the same big-box grocery in a different location in town, the stench of fabric softener does not permeate the food packaging.  So this raises questions about ghettoization based on locale.  I don't know what causes the problem. Do the same stores with a lower profit margin maybe always receive the products closest to the outside of a shipping pallet that were less protected from the pervasive stench of fabric softener and other items full of toxic chemicals?  Picayunish?  Not if your closest grocery store always has that problem with all of its packaging but other stores do not.  And how much of a useless time waste is it for us when only the same few people repeatedly comment about the same problem so we are considered problems, instead?  We all have to raise our consumer standards people.  No one deserves to have the packaging and the food they buy and bring into their homes be compromised by the stench of insecticide because of how it was stored.  I have not returned any of these items, but that is the next inconvenience I will choose to accept as a personal responsibility for my own health and that of others.

I make health a priority in my life for myself and have my entire life.  Not a smoker, not a drinker, not a drugger. There is a backstory here, but I will not go into it except to say I have always been terrified of medical people, places, and procedures, especially needles.  Yes, I know it is not anyone's favorite past time.  For me being mindful of health has always been a matter of survival which was highly dependent on avoiding fear.  Sure, if I have ever had to see an m.d., I have gone, and am grateful for the care received that was needed.  The point is that we all know  most folks eventually come around to being health conscious.  The sorrow is that sometimes it is not until serious health problems manifest.  I'm here to tell you the sooner you become health conscious, the better for yourself and everyone in your life.  Of course I care about the quality of health and life of others  also which is why I battle against what is not good for my health, because what is not healthy for me ordinarily will  have the same negative effects on the health of others, immediately in some cases, also incrementally cumulative over time, whether or not people know of cumulative effects.  As a natural born skeptic I have been doing my own research most of my adult life about being health and maintaining health.  So I will rant about toxicity, because it is not only me that fixing toxic problems benefits.  What I have to say about this may be useful to some.  If not then do not waste your time reading what I have to say about it simply as an exercise in judging me.  That is my job and I do it as well as possible.  Judging you is your job - do it well.

I wonder how many know that heavy fragrances are designed to mask the smell of chemicals which are toxic and damaging. Fragrances themselves are also toxic, especially the synthetic fragrances.  That is particularly true about fabric softeners and laundry detergents that include fabric softeners.  The chemical smell is so strong without it, no one would use it.  Synthetic fragrances can be particularly damaging to the people lucky enough to have the "curse" of being chemically sensitive.  When heeded chemical sensitivity is forewarning and protective.  When not heeded it forewarns of future ill health that will sometimes be immediate, but will always be incrementally cumulative over time.  Chemical sensitivity warns us to be aware of the toxic and unnecessary ingredients in all types of personal products and cleaning products in the home, and of toxicity at work. But here's the thing, those who are not chemically sensitive suffer from toxicity too but are not always aware their health is being affected or that toxicity might be the origin of health problems they experience. 

Here is a truism.  You can not claim ignorance once you have been informed.  You do not have to "believe", but you do have to be responsible.  Question, do your own research, learn the facts.  There are non-toxic, responsible alternatives but they are rarely coming from the big-box corporate conglomerate entities.

Toxicity is not only a personal issue within one’s own home.  Urban density creates unconscionable problems like the overpowering stench of fabric softener in the air from neighbors' laundry (read the small print warning label on the container).  It comes from neighbors' second hand cigarette smoke.  And some of the worst toxicity comes  from the worst of the available for purchase insect and weed sprays neighbors use which should be  outlawed and inaccessible, but worse which the city also uses, periodically, without warning - even though there are non-toxic alternatives available. 

When you want to quietly sit out in your yard in the evening to enjoy whatever - the garden, the birds, a beautiful sunset to end the day in a good way - what do you do when the stench of second-hand cigarette smoke invades your space from a neighbor on one side, and the overpowering stench of fabric softener from a neighbor's clothes drier invades your space from the other?  I go inside.  Then I go out later.  And then it is fabric softener chemicals in the air from a different neighbor, dogs barking incessantly from another, then the stench of weed spray used by another who dosed their yard.  And when this happens every evening, that prevents me from using my own yard.  I know other people have the same problem.  I don't compromise my neighbors' time outside with toxic stench full of chemicals, or with noise pollution.  I am not creating toxicity for my neighbors as a captive audience, and to that end I learned  how to use natural non-toxic, non-caustic ingredients to make my own insect deterrent, also weed eradicator though I usually pulling them out by the roots which is enough, easy, and non-toxic - plus good exercise!  These toxic neighbor sort of issues as I see it are a problem of not establishing personal standards which will be able to prevent compromising quality of life for oneself and everyone else.  But what do we all do to avoid the damage while others learn that lesson?  Maybe working to get policy established is our only recourse.

Want to get healthy and/or stay healthy by avoiding toxicity?  Read labels!  Pay attention to the warnings required by law.  They are there for a reason.  Become familiar with the damaging chemicals so that when you read labels without warnings and see the ingredients listed, you can avoid them.  There has been a lot of progress in the past few years because consumers are raising their standards and are not buying toxic products.  That is happening because people are educating themselves.  I have a huge amount of gratitude for the people who provide information on their websites and blogs.  I know enough by now to know what is and is not credible, but if it is new information or if I am not sure about the credibility I check additional resources.  I do have to say that for a resource to be trustworthy and of value, it is always best to provide access to sources of information, or at least cite those sources. 

All of the toxicity I have mentioned creates toxicity in our bodies and the environment, for everyone, and that toxicity is cumulative over time, which shows up as medical conditions later in life, if not more immediately.   The people causing the problems are not paying  my medical bills or yours. And no one has right to create medical problems in others because of ignorance, laziness, and ill-intent.  Because once one is informed, whether or not they want to be, the damage one continues to do IS ill-intended, and can only be considered intentional.

It is probably evident that I have a sensitive sense of smell.  For a number of reasons, I have no doubt that I am chemically sensitive, although it has not been necessary to hang around at clinics and hospitals to get that confirmed.  I know.  That is enough.  It is usually only things that are chemically toxic that cause a problem.  Case in point,  I do not have a problem with the smell of latex paint even though information about it says it has some toxicity.  Enough ventilation is supposed to solve the problem.  But paint with fragrance?  Nope.  Not gonna happen in my house.  That is a total no-go!  One of my nearest neighbors hired someone to paint and the paint selected had fragrance in it. Worse the  person hired to paint washed the equipment in the 18” gravel strip between the two front doors of the two homes every day for a week which added up to a lot of stench!  That nasty overpowering strong lingering synthetic fragrance affected  me for months causing congestion and all the nastiness that comes from being congested, until the stench dissipated outside after approximately five months.  I felt so sad about the people who had moved into that house, particularly the children, who all had to endure that stench.

The owner of the same house provides insect and weed spray of the most toxic and damaging type to her renters which does damage with every breath until it eventually dissipates weeks later, of course permeating the house via  the front and back yard windows. when opened even just a small amount for fresh air; via  doors opened simply to go in and out.  You can’t tell me the same toxicity is not permeating their home also.  And the renters have young  children!  Yet the same people wonder why a child has a “cold” that hangs on for months and then is eventually treated like an allergy!   You can’t tell me the toxicity that effects me does not  damage their children and them in similar ways.  They simply and apparently do not know that, but worse neither does the owner of the property, nor the property management company she hires so she does not have to do the work of taking responsibility for the property and her tenants.  But that does not absolve her of the responsibility for damage done when problems arise.

It is evident how public and environmental health hazards and issues develop.  For example where is the oversight that prevents property managers from using toxic products on rental properties and from supplying the renters with toxic weed and insect sprays to use?  Where is the owner's responsibility to require the property managers to not use toxic products?  Is the fact that they use and supply toxic products simply another matter of ghetto victimization on the part of the property management company, or the owner, or both?  “We don’t live there so we don’t care about the effects on you and your neighbors or the community.  We will  do what looks good on paper, but is damaging to you because of the toxic products we provide to you and use on your property.”  It certainly seems to be the attitude and  the problem, because, that is exactly the effect these things have on residents, neighbors, and entire neighborhoods, particularly when they are high density neighborhoods (small lots, large homes).

I am so over and done with that type of toxic abuse that so many people do not even realize they  perpetrate on themselves and their children, even on entire communities - like when the stench of, and chemicals in insect and weed sprays used by the city, regionally, hangs heavy in the air but residents have not even been forewarned about the spraying schedule, so they can plan their own schedules around it.  For example, if your area is being sprayed then at least you should able to plan around those days when the air is heavy with the toxicity.  We need to know to be able to schedule caring for yard and garden and doing outside maintenance at another time so as not to be outside that day - or the next several days while the toxicity remains heavy in the air. 

But scheduling does not solve the toxicity problem. We all need to get busy ranting at those responsible in the city when our cities are not willing to use non-toxic products that do no harm to people and the environment. How can environmental health departments be trusted to handle public health issues if they have no interest in regulating against the use of toxic products people use in their yards that also effect others in their neighborhood?  How can they be trusted when they do not even inform people they will spraying toxic spray?  How can they be trusted  if they are not willing to replace regional toxic spraying  with non-toxic spraying?

Worst are the people who do not know the problems they are  perpetrating on their own children within their own homes.  Guaranteed if you do not care enough about your own health you are not going to care about what you do that creates ill health in others like making your children captive audience to second hand cigarette smoke and the toxicity in products you use and use on them.  Take some personal responsibility,  people.  If not for yourselves and  your community, then at least for your children.

I do my job of keeping my own home and yard, and my own body free of as much toxicity as possible from food and everything I bring into my home, and use outside in the yard.  So I also run my mouth about the need to get rid of toxicity in our water, air, food chain, household products, and personal products; also new furniture, building material, flooring because of the toxic out-gassing chemicals.  There are safe alternatives for all of these.  And if it is not possible to afford the more costly safe alternatives, which should not be more costly, then decent used items that are in good shape, clean or can be cleaned, would be a healthier choice than new, since the outgassing is no longer a problem.

I can not control what others choose to be so ignorant and uncaring enough about that they cause toxic damage to themselves and their families.  But I also will not provide a pass for that same ill-intended damage people do to others, including me.  When we have been told about toxicity problems but refuse to confirm for ourselves, then we can not claim ignorance as an excuse, only ill-intent.  And is that what any of us really want to do - claim ill-intent? 

I absolutely refuse to be accountable for, responsible for, or pay for in any way, the damage others continue to choose to do to themselves, their communities, and their households, particularly to the youngest, less-abled and the most vulnerable who have less choice and less effective voices when they try to communicate discomfort.  For example, got children with behavior problems that are only getting worse?  Then if you are caring decent parents you had better start looking for toxicity in your environment and the food you eat and provide for your children, because if toxicity is the problem it will only become worse over time when not heeded.  It will eventually develop into persistent health problems.  Persistent behavior problems are very likely to have an underlying health cause, particularly when nothing can be done about persistent sniffles that are relegated to allergies.  I guarantee allergies are no laughing matter.  Not only are they uncomfortable, they cause misery that makes it difficult to function.  Although there are a number of suspected causes of aplastic anemia, including toxicity, it is also suspected to develop as an extreme allergic reaction - probably to toxicity.  It is extremely tragic, traumatic, and enduringly sad for individuals in a family and extended family to summon up the courage to withstand a loved one's ongoing suffering for years, in so many ways, from aplastic anemia - guaranteed.

Stop being lazy and uncaring.  Read the labels!  Learn about what is toxic and needs to be avoided in everything you bring into your homes and immediate environments, including at work.   Use products that are non-toxic and also do not harm the environment.  They exist.  And make sure your city, county, and state are establishing policies that outlaw the use of toxic products known to be damaging.  And I repeat, because it deserves to be repeated, after you are informed whether or not you want to be, the damage you continue to do then becomes ill-intended, your problem, and your karma to resolve - no one else's.

I believe I owe it to myself and everyone else to do what is possible for me to do to make life better for all.  No matter how insignificant it may seem to others, or myself, I know, and everyone needs to know, that what everyone does to make a good difference, it has a far reaching effect - no matter how insignificant it might seem to anyone else.  If you have no other reason for existing of which you are consciously aware, then start with that reason and add to it as you develop knowledge, skill, talent, and discover your innate gifts and how to use them all to benefit others and yourself without doing harm.   Choose to be a responsible enabler of quality of life for yourself and everyone else rather than a disabler of it.  It is not always easy, but it is always a rewarding experience to be of service to others in all the ways you choose to be when you are able to be.  You will never regret it.

06 March 2019

The Hilarity of Waving the Russian Flag

A friend posted this article today: "CPAC Crowd Duped Into Waving Russian Flags During Trump Speech".  I happened to have put on the t.v. when the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) Convention was being aired on C-SPAN, and watched for quite a while because all the praising of Israel and the political ideology of Zionism was honestly astounding.  It went on and on and on!  It was so over the top that I actually wondered if AIPAC had changed its name to CPAC. 

The article tells about the Russian Flag incident, that many small flags had been distributed as a prank and were to be waved when our President appeared at the Convention.  I did not see that part because he did not appear during the time I was watching.  No surprise, though, since I often manage to miss his appearances on the news - without trying.  But what I did watch was uncomfortably worrisome. (Yes, the above graphic is not the Russian flag.  Perhaps it will become clear, further along, why it is included.)

I have long known of the strong connections between Russia and Israel.  I guess the connections are supposed to be considered clandestine and secret since they are not spoken of by folks with M.E. and/or Russian interests and scholarly knowledge, even though it is a very strong and long-lasting connection - including many decades prior to the half century before Israel declared itself a nation (150 years for the connection being a conservative estimate, actually).  So, learning of the prank flag waving seemed quite apropos given having happened upon the CPAC Convention.  It seemed simply a reflection of this actuality, although it may not have been the pranksters overt intent for it to reflect the Russia/Israel connection.  Of course it reflects the current political brouhahas - one of which is the Russian connection of our president.  Of course, regardless of evidence about anything else surfacing that is Russian connected also, there are our President's marriages and his children - U.S.S.R. connections which were not established recently.

To be honest and fair to flag wavers who were perhaps innocently waving the Russian flag, I certainly would not have recognized the Russian flag, myself, perhaps along with many other folks.  The flags of many nations are red, white, and blue.  It might be of interest to note that it is said the current Russian flag was reputed to have first been used as an ensign for Russian merchant ships, then officially became the flag of the Tsardom of Russia, 1696.  However, from the point of view of it being a prank to have attendees unknowingly waving the Russian flag at our President, given his so often derisive "sense of humor" (I guess it could be intended to be a sense of humor) it IS funny, in the "if you can give it then you better be able to take it", category. But it runs deeper than that for me, and not pleasantly. 

One of my most trustworthy best friends from decades ago once told me that the KGB was tasked to keep track, for three generations, of all those who had left the U.S.S.R.  After WWII emigration restrictions were imposed by the Soviet Union and its Satellite nations.  Of course, other than some who managed to escape (defectors with the help of people like the veteran husband of a friend), ordinarily the only folks allowed to leave the U.S.S.R. when I was growing up were Jewish folks.  Even so after applying to leave people were  often made to wait a long time, sometimes for two decades or more. And once they applied to leave, they waited to be allowed to leave as "refusniks" which was not an easy life, particularly if their lives, because of their work, had been privileged and comfortable prior to applying to leave. 

Many refusniks  were required to wait because of security reasons associated with the work they had been doing when they applied to leave, which then relegated them to refusnik status and a change of employment with fewer privileges.  Those who finally were allowed to leave were required to emigrate to Israel.  Another friend's father successfully helped to legally get scientists out of the U.S.S.R. because, of course, the U.S.S.R. was concerned about a "brain drain".  Once safely arrived in Israel many of the Russian immigrants chose to emigrate elsewhere. 

A daughter of refusniks told me of her family's experiences.   She was probably around about 19 at the time and had been born after her parents applied to leave. They arrived in Israel when she was 17.  Of course her family was being surveilled, so too the family of my friend who had told me about surveillance being conducted for at least up to three generations.  Someone in my family is part Russian . . . I do not know whether or not 2nd or 3rd generation, but I can guarantee our family was kept track of too. Although, part of that early-on was most likely "guilt by association", instead, since I grew up with other relatives who would have been 3rd generation, with their 2nd and 1st generation relatives also in my life.  And my most frequent playmates were twins of long-time family friends with the  husband having been 3rd generation.  Thus we all were under surveillance from time to time, some times much more invasively than other times, depending on circumstances.  Close and not so close family and networks of contacts did not escape being watched, at least periodically.  Of course when we were children we did not know.  Some of the adults may have known.

We lived in a small town until I was nine and a half  years old, of not more than 1,500 population.  And nothing new or unusual gets past the notice of nearly the entire adult population of a small town.  Even so I do not know how invasively surveillance might have been experienced by our parents, if at all, when we all were young children.  But when I was an adult . . . well, most simply, not only in retrospect but also at the time, numerous occurrences raised questions. 

The Cold War loomed large in our lives when we were all growing up.  Spycraft also loomed large, given the proliferation of concern about moles and sleeper families.  No one who might have been a valuable source to cultivate needed to have family from the U.S.S.R. to be watched.  Being employed where a clearance of some type or another was required was enough and demanding of caution.  However, from a later time in life, I can say that having family and close friends who were descendant of people from the U.S.S.R. and/or its satellites (including when it was Russia, before the U.S.S.R. was established, 1922) insured much more invasive methods of surveillance.  It was all actuality occurring a whole lot differently than the stereotypical Cold War "paranoia" scenario.

What I can say is that once one has experienced, as an independent young adult, all the obnoxious intrusive  invasiveness that is associated with surveillance and the plethora of creative and criminal ways in which it occurs, especially when it is KGB (now SVR) counterintelligence surveillance, and a couple of other intelligence agencies ( NSA/FBI ) added into the mix which would require a backstory to say more about - then evading surveillance for a short time is always an interesting challenge. And especially IF it stops for any length of time (like months and years) and is noticeably absent, life becomes uplifting and a true joy.  When/if surveillance starts up again, after having been absent for a long period of time, it is as difficult to endure subsequent times around, if not worse.  There is a hallmark feeling and method associated with KGB surveillance which is palpably recognizable in no pleasant ways, and something one never forgets - also something one always recognizes.  Something similar can also be stated about all intelligence surveillance, including that of my own nation, especially when it aims to be "Herbert Hooverish" in nature.

Given I have not ever personally experienced anything humorous in association with the ubiquitous "Russian connection", in light of reality the hilarity of the flag waving article might have missed the mark, its sardonic humor escaping my notice, if it had not been for the goings on during the most recent presidential campaign season with at least four candidates having close connections with Russia and the political parties also having connections.  Two years later "the Russian connection" still demands time and attention.